I, Devil

Even if man were nothing but a piano key, even if this were proved to him by natural science and mathematics, even then he would not become reasonable, but would purposely do something perverse out of sheer ingratitude, simply to have his own way…then, after all, perhaps only by his curse will he attain his object, that is, really convince himself that he is a man and not a piano key! If you say that all this, too, can be calculated and tabulated…then man would purposely go mad in order to be rid of reason and have his own way.

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Today, I am going to disappoint you. This entry will let you down, and won’t be what you think it is to be. I have no intention of defining or revealing some aspect of the history of Satan, Lucifer, or “The Devil”. If you’d like to read something extremely thoughtful and well written to that end; Please check out Chloe 352’s article in Nexion Zine 7.1 titled “Notes on Satanism“. My aim is set to convey something of a different species , and to that I am certain to fail. None the less, I shall endure.

First I think it is important to nutshell my worldview. That my fellow traveler, will be no easy task. I probably, in my life time, could never write enough to paint the entire picture for you. Even if I spent 20 hours a day for the rest of my life. So I am going to try to sum it up in a few concepts. The first an allegory. The second is three quotes. The third a transgression. So let’s begin shall we?

When I first came across the thought experiment called “Schrodinger’s Cat”, I immediately understood the concept being related. The short of it; a cat sealed in box with poison. To observer, until the box is opened there is no way to determine if the cat is alive or dead. Therefore it remains in a superposition; that is both alive and dead. blah, blah, blah; not what I’m after. This is just where my thought experiment started. See it was irking me that the cat was a continuous observer and therefore the experiment was flawed.

The Allegory

I started thinking about my experience, if I was the cat. I realized as the cat, I was first intrigued. What cat doesn’t like a box? After the lid closed, I might be a little frightened. I would probably go looking for a way out, and in the process discover the poison. I am certain my heightened and attuned sense of smell would, I hope, clue me into the fact that I didn’t want to be in the box with this stuff. Then panic would set in, after all, it is just what nature does. After an undefined period of time, I would start to take for granted that this noxiousness was contained. Leaving me unaffected by it. Should enough time pass, I may even have convinced myself that the poison was not meant for me. After all, I am a good cat.

As my stay grows longer, so does my boredom. Fortunately this box is many sided and walled with mirrors on every side. In every direction, I can see many different cats. Each reacts as I act. Most of them, I think of as friends. Not the one directly in front of me. He keeps staring at me. To me this is a sign of aggression. We all spend our days playing and talking. Lately the conversations have become a bit more “heady”. We began to discuss how we got here and what we think will eventually happen. One of my friends on the right side, he is concerned about the poison. It is his opinion, that eventually it will open and kill us all. A few on the left side think, he is just being dramatic, and he should just stick to the evidence and what we know from experience. They argue an awful lot and sometimes that just stresses me out. I like to hold conversations with one of the cats above me. He is always making some profound statement with lofty ideals. He has me convinced that the cat in front of me isn’t actually being aggressive toward me, but rather is simply just as unsure of me, as I am of him. This might be true, because he does share a lot of my same features. Maybe I’ll give him a chance.

One day, I got curious about something puzzling. I decided to ask the cat above me about it. Being he is above me, he will know the answer. So I asked him, “What is out there, beyond what I can see?”. “Surely, since you are above me you can see further”. “Oh my!” he replied and grew silent for a very long time afterwards. Finally he said “I cannot honestly answer that question, but maybe if we can figure out what is going on inside what we can see; we will know more about the beyond”. Agreeing with him, I decided to get every cat here on the same page. The more the merrier right? Instead of two on a quest to understand the beyond, we will have the thinking power of many. After that every cat eventually joined our quest for this knowledge. Some of our discoveries seemed earth moving and awe-inspiring. Yet none seemed to answer the question of the beyond. Finally what was always meant to be happened, the poison released.

Yes, this is the kind of thing that regularly plays out in my head. No, you shouldn’t be concerned for me either. You see there are (like the mirrors) many different aspects of this that really do sum up my world view. We are similar to the cat inside a box. Driven by fear and insecurity. Without out a real knowledge of what’s beyond our reasoning of anything immeasurable or observable. Distorted. Isolated. Removed from the true nature of our world, it’s cosmos, and a healthy perspective on exactly how ignorant we really are on a universal level. As a society, we know 2 things with all certainty; we live (cat) and we die (poison). Only do we really even know that? What if this is merely some instance of whatever animates (cosmic life) finding itself in a super-position? What if it is then diverging as it is being observed not simply in one instance. but both simultaneously (mirrors again)? The question of what is observing come into play. I think maybe its reality itself, but I digress. We simply just don’t know and anyone who says they do is just full of shit. No matter the level of science involved, at this point: it is still just mental masturbation.

Any working “universal” theory is a bust. No dice. What about on a cosmic level? Here we have some grasp of different principles and ‘laws’. There is still an air of primitiveness to it, in my assessment. We have 6 senses in which we can exact and analyze any type of ‘knowing’. Our proximity and access seem to be the biggest obstacles in real advancement. Until such a time as we can move closer to proper examination; I just don’t see us moving beyond that, except by painstaking fractal to fractal. Cosmic Kindergarteners.

The Three Quotes

“The world as we find it is undeniably adversarial. Or, in other words, undeniably Satanic.”

-Jason King – Post Modern Satanism

“When a mind is enlightened, it casts shadows onto the subconscious. Truly the more enlightened the mind, the darker the shadows we find.”

-T.C. Downey – I, Devil (right here)

I won’t devote a great deal of time regurgitating King’s philosophical workings. I recognize his salient gleaning of this characteristic of our world in the above quote from Post Modern Satanism. Seemingly there is a constant competition for resource and survival. There are simple examples like several closely rooted plants which are competing for nutrient, pollination, soil, sunlight, and water. This is further rigorously tested by things like insect infestations, climatic conditions, fires, mold, moss, people, and whatever other things I’m forgetting to list. There are so many phenomenal examples present in our worldscape; you couldn’t possibly list them all and remain sane. King loved to use the “lion and the gazelle”, I think because it could be over simplified and still hold weight as ‘the‘ example. It would seem the more we look at the compounded environmental difficulties faced by any organism on this planet; the more that seem to factor in. There can be no doubt that nature is in fact against itself. Undeniable? You bet. Satanic?

In that sense, Satan is the king of this world! This easily becomes a realization, and then immediately is followed by doubt. Because it is hard to face up to reality. The notion that literally everything is out to get us, comes with denial, paranoia, and a myriad psychological mechanisms. Quickly one forgets that the odds are stacked against us, and those things which remain in existence today; do so in defiance of the natural worldly order. Kind of inspiring to me. A nice little balancer to a rather nihilistic overture. Nature has its system of balances. To this affect, it seems necessary for a heavily destructive tendency to aid in the preservation of the whole. This comes across as shear chaos at first glance; observable however is the emergent order from within.

Clearly we have fooled ourselves into believing that our ‘intellect’ somehow sets us apart from the natural worldly order. These days people must feel alien to this worldly order. How can they not? We have rampant menticide and an inflated sense of self-entitlement that is contrasted with restrictive pushes for passivity and compliance; let us just say it is obvious world war 3 is going to be a global killer. How can it not be? Free-range capitalism has saturated every aspect of life with corruption and distortion. I used to be one of those guys who thinks “democracy = freedom”. Now that I am older, I recognize that that statement couldn’t be farther from the truth.

All democracy does is allow the despicable and unworthy to manipulate and further distort the masses. While we are busy playing our oversized Monopoly TM game, it is obvious we are missing more critical events on a global scale. We fail to look at them in any honest or objective manner. For those that might actually be honest and objective; we are forced to hold a heavy skepticism, for they could be doing so with financially tinted lens. Anyone arguing the merits of any particular ‘sciences’ had better be the far most expert in their field, or sit the fuck down. I don’t care where you are getting your information from, these facts remain. People lie. All the time. Governments lie. No surprise there. Spin is an ancient craft that has been honed and perfected since its inception. The Sheeple (mundanes) love them for it.

Recently the point was made to me that what society is lacking is any true sense of patriotism. To that I had to agree, but I posited that the body of governments should take more pride in their people. You see any relationship, should it be harmonious, is a two way street. Give AND take.

“This is not a matter of compromises or adaptations. The power of a new Middle Ages is needed. A change, interior as well as exterior, of barbaric purity is required. Philosophy, “culture”, everyday politics: no more of all that. It is not a matter of shifting to the other side of this bed of agony. It is a matter of finally waking up, and standing on one’s feet.”

-Julius Evola

The Transgression

News Flash! You are not simply entitled to be a live. This natural worldly order does NOT owe a thing to you. In fact, most of you should be put to death. If for no other reason, because you arrogantly assume the entitlement. To further complicate the issue, not only do you think you are entitled, but you are of the opinion that your entitlement is just; whereas another’s is ludicrous. From one side of your face you cry about the injustices of society, and from the other you are equally as dishonourable and contriving. Eager to step over the wake of carnage to receive your metaphorical kudos. Where have all the heroics gone? Have we lost the drive to push ourselves to the highest versions of self? Why has the mantra of “For king and country” been replaced with the motto “live to fight another day”? Do you see it? Can you comprehend? There is glory in dying for ‘higher’ principles, and a deep felt appreciation from those for which you fight. Dedication and loyalty are quickly slipping into the hallowed crypts of antiquity. Where is your pride in heritage and tradition? What is it in a highschool or college diploma? A mediocre job, where most of your focus is making money or worse a name for somebody else?

Mankind is so emancipated from the natural worldly order, and this makes it seem inevitable that we will face extinction. How could we not? We cannot possibly understand the value of life, if we are not willing to die for it. There is no way to grasp the preciousness of enlightenment, if we cannot embrace the darkness behind it. With that for each egalitarian neutering that socially arises; nature will send a brutal killer to cleanse its palette. So for this, I truly am sorry to disappoint you. None the less, I shall endure!

-Beast Xeno (edited on 08/09/21 to improve conceptualization and readability)

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